Let's Get Honest

Psalm 143:10

"Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground" (NIV).

I read this track back in March, about prayer and it sparked this fire inside of me. The main point was to show the importance of honest and abandoned prayer. Jesus was about to be arrested and crucified so He went to the garden and prayed this prayer, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42 NKJV). This was the most honest prayer-"take this cup away from Me;" and on the flip side of the honesty was the most purest abandon- "not My will, but Yours be done." I learned something so valuable in this simple but powerful prayer and that is about being in His perfect will. I found that when I pray His will, whatever the outcome I can accept with ease. Early on in my walk a friend showed me this "statement of faith" and "dieing to self;" both powerful and mind blowing to me in those moments that I read them. I truly knew that my life was never going to be "self" driven ever again, only led by God. My prayers began to change from me me me to guide, lead, fill, You You You. And there is a power that only can be felt when the Spirit of God is leading. 

Like David, I need guidence from the Lord. I didn't realize that honest and abandoned prayer came with such a heaviness until I truly understood Jesus's prayer in the garden and then things started to get deep, really deep for me. Have Your way with me Jesus...a bold and Spirit led prayer came over me these last couple of weeks. I decided to investigate a bit deeper, dangerous prayers and it was pretty simple to understand - speaking life with truth and scripture, into a room or a person, to counter the enemy is my only defense and only offense. I find that a supernatural courage comes over me when I pray the way Jesus prayed. And a boldness to speak things that otherwise I may have never been able to and the ability to accept whatever the outcome is because I know it is all Spirit led. And overwhelmingly humbled I have found my state of being the last few days.

My prayer has been for restoration with my family and He has done just that. I didn't think for one minute the responsibility that came with this blessing, it's something I have shurked for the last 25 years. And now the "deeper" I have been seeking has appeared. Yes they are my family, but they ultimately are God's first and I cannot ever forget that. My prayers will be changing now because what God restored to me I want only His will for them. I will never fully know what mysteries and wonders He has in store for any of us, but what I do know is that whatever we pray, He will hear and answer if it is in His perfect will. Scripture is His perfect will. This doesn't mean I will have what I want, but I will have what God wants and it will always be enough. It will always be more than enough!  

Sometimes, things don't make sense, the thoughts that swirl through my mind and consume me about my future, my faith and the direction my life is headed and how I got here and why He chose me and so on and so on. I find myself overwhelmed with joy and peace and love and compassion. As I sat on the cliffs in Carlsbad and watched Josie surfing I could do nothing but just be still in His presence and take in all the surroundings of His vast glory! He has given me a life beyond my wildest comprehensions. Joining my mom in a bible study on Zoom and feeling like I belonged there and having confidence in Christ who abides in me, is beyond my understanding. I know that this is all Jesus. Heaven is touching earth all around me and I am left in amazement and wonder! 

David always found that his dark nights of distress and discouragement were displaced by mornings of joyous praises, which made his heart alive to seek God's perfect will, and so, David acknowledges his dependence on God, and petitions the Lord for direction - entreating the Spirit of enlightment to guide him onto level ground, where he may walk without fear or danger. But those that confess the knowledge of God's will and are obedient to His Word, have the sufficient grace to weather the most raging storm and to water the most arid of dusty deserts. God's grace is sufficient and He is faithful. He has promised that He will not allow us to be tested more than we are able, but in the power of His Holy Spirit, will always hear our prayer and give us a way to overcome in all things. 

His grace and mercy has extended to me beyond my comprehension. His Word says that we will never understand the wonders and mysteries of the Lord because we wouldn't even begin to be able to comprehend and understand any of it. I know this to be true with what littel He has shown me in my life this far. I can only say that through my confession of sin and my repentence to the Lord, He has given me back what the enemy robbed me of and I didn't ever think it would look like this: PEACE. It is so clear that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. A life in the ministry has drawn me close to Jesus, so close to Him that I long only for more of Him. He is so faithful in when and how and who He puts in my life. I will never abuse His grace by taking for granted all that He has restored to me and shown me a precious gift in each and every one of my family members - HIM!


  1. Thanks for the honesty it's hard to find in any one except God and the relationship we all build with him thanks for this read


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