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Showing posts from May, 2020

In Over My Head

Have you ever chased after something or someone with everything you have within you?  Have you ever really been able to find satisfaction in whatever or whoever it was that you gave everything you had to get? Have you ever found yourself giving up every moral fiber of existence within you to have that someone or something? You get my drift... I mean if you found yourself addicted to something or someone you know what I'm talking about. I know my addictions took me to the darkest of places and doing the very things I swore to myself I would never do.  As I sank deeper and deeper into my abyss of darkness I never thought anything else would ever be possible. I never believed there would be anything different for my life. I was in way over my head and didn't even know it. I had sunk to the bottom of bottoms and found a sick kind of comfort in that dark abyss. But God saw fit to liberate me from the bondage of addiction and free me. I recall being prayed over by a pastor from Ancho

Anointed

I was baptized on December 15, 2019 by Pastor Willie at the Set Free Yucaipa church. An act of faith and open repentance. I had no idea what was to follow this repentance and was not in any way prepared for what God was about to do in my life. I look back now and can only explain it like this...if I was allowed an enounter with Satan, then of course God's going to show up and show out in my life. That is the only way I have been able to wrap my small minded human understanding around the last 5 months of my life. I want to start by sharing a few prayers I have prayed and still do pray, from the time I gave my life over to Christ in October 2019 to now. My first prayer was for restoration of the relationships that Satan stole from me, specifically my mom, step-dad, and biological daughter. The second prayer was for God to remove anything and anyone that was in my life that could seperate me from Him ever again - thoughts, behaviors, substances, feelings, people, etc.) My third praye

When God Fights for Your Soul

I was rescued last year! Yes literally rescued! Have you ever found yourself in a hopeless situation? I mean a dark, desolate, scary place that you have no idea how you will escape it? Well, I did. It wasn't the first time in my life I felt hopeless. I knew hopelessness all too well. A series of suicide attempts, drug overdoses, failed relationships, incarcerations and countless drug/alcohol/psychiatric facilities brought me to my knees last September 2019. I was in the darkest place in my life, which at the time I had no idea what battle I was in the midst of, and I was in an indescribable state of fear. When I looked in the mirror, which wasn't often, I was staring at death. Not physical death either, that would have been a blessing at that time. No, I was staring at an empty soul. I had completely turned my life over to the ways of the world at a young age, 17 years old (10 days before I was to turn 18). I wasn't until right before my 43rd birthday (10 days before, to be